castiron: cartoony sketch of owl (Default)
castiron ([personal profile] castiron) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2022-10-12 01:25 am (UTC)

If my son had never had a serious relationship before, and at 27 brought someone home for the first time who was enough older than him to have a 17-year-old child and had four kids from previous relationshipS, while I'd be happy he'd found someone he cared for and would be friendly and pleasant to his new partner, I'd think that relationship has some yellow flags.

If I then found out that they'd gotten married after knowing each other for four months, I would be questioning both their judgements and would be moving into "be pleasant and keep the channels open so in the very likely event that things go south he's willing to turn to me" mode.

Sure, it's still possible things could work out. My parents got engaged after knowing each other for two months and married after six months; they're well past their golden anniversary. However, they'd also both dated other people before they met and had a good idea of what kind of person they were looking for.

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