Okay, confession time: I often let my daughter fall asleep in "the big bed" after we do our nightly family reading time there, and she's 9. We move her to her bed for the rest of the night, of course. There are a host of things involved there, from her wanting a little extra parent-time to her being a little afraid of being upstairs alone at night (which we're working on, but which I kind of can't blame her too much for; our house is 100 years old and a little creepy when you're alone, and she's my kid, which means overactive imagination). But she *can* fall asleep on her own, and often does so, and I figure she's not going to want snuggles at 15, so I'm not really worried about it.

My question re: the letter would be, whose wants/needs are being served by dad snuggling the kid to sleep? I wouldn't necessarily be alarmed that a kid, even at eight, enjoyed a little extra parental attention as long as he *can* go to sleep alone. But if it's dad whose seeking some kind of security, that's something that needs to be addressed. Either way, they should probably gradually reduce the number of nights he stays with the son, until it's maybe a special weekly "treat." Age will take care of the rest *if* the father lets it.