Yeah, it seems to me if it "felt like a traumatic experience," then it WAS one. I mean, what else is trauma about than what it felt like, and what the repercussion feelings are? And it's also possible there is an observable problem with how the episiotomy was repaired. (It's not that uncommon for an episiotomy to cause worse damage than would otherwise have occurred.) A lot of women get less lubrication while breastfeeding as well, which doesn't help. (It's not universal. Some women are the opposite and get less lubrication during pregnancy and more during breastfeeding.)