...I'm chronically ill and neurodivergent. My husband is differently ND, not chronically ill, and has a different concept of what is appropriately cleaned than I do (his is more strict.) I grew up with a mix of sometimes having a housecleaning service and sometimes having that as part of my chore set.
I genuinely feel like this guy is Big Mad that his wife isn't doing Wife Things ("this is the price of being with her" and "slut" are ringing every alarm bell in my head.)
In my personal case, I have repeatedly offered to find and contract a housecleaning service, paid for either by me alone or as part of the household budget, to resolve the "who cleans and how much" issue. (Husband keeps kicking that to a "later decision", I'm pretty sure because he's got a whole train worth of Calvinist baggage about how you do your own work in all cases regardless of whether the scent of the cleaning products triggers your migraine or you can't stand up today, but that's separate.) There's also that I know how to do the tasks, but they do not give me any sense of satisfaction or pleasure, nor does the difference they make in my environment exceed the cost of doing them (mentally or physically.)
I also genuinely question this guy's definition of "slob," because I am here to tell you that with two cats, the cat hair tumbleweeds accrue in my house within three *days* (I assuredly do not have the spoons to vacuum daily) and that I do dishes once a day or once every other day if I am alone in the house, rather than fully after every meal. By LW's definition, this is "cat hair tumbleweeds everywhere and a sink full of dishes." By mine, it's Tuesday. What's a "grimy" bathroom? Can you actually see dirt, or is it just that she didn't put the anti soap scum spray on the shower?
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I genuinely feel like this guy is Big Mad that his wife isn't doing Wife Things ("this is the price of being with her" and "slut" are ringing every alarm bell in my head.)
In my personal case, I have repeatedly offered to find and contract a housecleaning service, paid for either by me alone or as part of the household budget, to resolve the "who cleans and how much" issue. (Husband keeps kicking that to a "later decision", I'm pretty sure because he's got a whole train worth of Calvinist baggage about how you do your own work in all cases regardless of whether the scent of the cleaning products triggers your migraine or you can't stand up today, but that's separate.) There's also that I know how to do the tasks, but they do not give me any sense of satisfaction or pleasure, nor does the difference they make in my environment exceed the cost of doing them (mentally or physically.)
I also genuinely question this guy's definition of "slob," because I am here to tell you that with two cats, the cat hair tumbleweeds accrue in my house within three *days* (I assuredly do not have the spoons to vacuum daily) and that I do dishes once a day or once every other day if I am alone in the house, rather than fully after every meal. By LW's definition, this is "cat hair tumbleweeds everywhere and a sink full of dishes." By mine, it's Tuesday. What's a "grimy" bathroom? Can you actually see dirt, or is it just that she didn't put the anti soap scum spray on the shower?