There's also an additional response further down the page:
Q. Re: Too Much Love for One Wedding: When you choose some people and not others to be in your wedding party or to receive invites, you are telling those others that they aren’t as important to you. This is of course reasonable, we all are differently close to different people. But if they thought they were closer than they are, they’ve now learned otherwise, and this is hurtful, no matter how much you didn’t intend to hurt people. You can’t, and shouldn’t, do anything else, but your friends who didn’t receive invites (especially them, but also the ones who aren’t part of the wedding party but wanted to be) are going to have the feelings they have and make decisions about the friendship. It was entirely up to you to make those decisions for your wedding, but it’s also reasonable for them to make decisions based on that.
A: You know what? This is so true. I think there are some exceptions (Like: Laura might get invited even though she’s a third-tier friend because she is part of a trivia team that includes long-time BFFs Kate and Kendra, and it would be weird to exclude her, while Dan, who’s actually a second-tier friend, doesn’t get invited because he doesn’t know anyone else who will be there). But overall, what you’re saying makes a lot of sense—the choices about the guest list reflect reality, and maybe the best bet is to resist sugar-coating it. Related: Weddings not only reflect the current status of friendships but can deepen and solidify them. When you’re deciding who to invite, you are deciding who gets to meet your grandma and dance with your toddler nephew and say “I was at her wedding” when people ask if they know you. That creates a certain kind of closeness. And yeah, you’re choosing to offer that to some people and not others for a reason.
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Q. Re: Too Much Love for One Wedding: When you choose some people and not others to be in your wedding party or to receive invites, you are telling those others that they aren’t as important to you. This is of course reasonable, we all are differently close to different people. But if they thought they were closer than they are, they’ve now learned otherwise, and this is hurtful, no matter how much you didn’t intend to hurt people. You can’t, and shouldn’t, do anything else, but your friends who didn’t receive invites (especially them, but also the ones who aren’t part of the wedding party but wanted to be) are going to have the feelings they have and make decisions about the friendship. It was entirely up to you to make those decisions for your wedding, but it’s also reasonable for them to make decisions based on that.
A: You know what? This is so true. I think there are some exceptions (Like: Laura might get invited even though she’s a third-tier friend because she is part of a trivia team that includes long-time BFFs Kate and Kendra, and it would be weird to exclude her, while Dan, who’s actually a second-tier friend, doesn’t get invited because he doesn’t know anyone else who will be there). But overall, what you’re saying makes a lot of sense—the choices about the guest list reflect reality, and maybe the best bet is to resist sugar-coating it. Related: Weddings not only reflect the current status of friendships but can deepen and solidify them. When you’re deciding who to invite, you are deciding who gets to meet your grandma and dance with your toddler nephew and say “I was at her wedding” when people ask if they know you. That creates a certain kind of closeness. And yeah, you’re choosing to offer that to some people and not others for a reason.