redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
Redbird ([personal profile] redbird) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2022-09-27 11:54 pm (UTC)

My husband’s response was that he is supposed to use a cane. It’s too costly to install a railing. We can help him navigate the steps next time, or his wife can.

As Carolyn notes, LW's husband is choosing to be a jerk. It would be reasonable for LW to say both "we should definitely install a ramp, and you know we can afford it" and "it sounds like there's something other than the expense here. Help me understand this, please."

It sounds like either LW's husband is tired of them being the "entertainers" in their group, or specifically dislikes the friend in question.

If he dislikes the person with Parkinson's, especially if it's for reasons unrelated to the Parkinson's disease, what he's doing is wrong, but also telling him that he may need the ramp someday is unlikely to make a difference.

If LW's husband has told LW he's tired of hosting, and nothing has changed, he might be hoping that refusing to install a ramp will mean some of the parties are moved elsewhere. That's still not a good move, but it feels like a slightly different discussion.

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