That seems so strange to me? I mean, we have so little information in the letter about the rest of their relationship, but expecting a partner to be able to talk about the state of your relationship, conflicts that come up, and whether or not you are doing xyz that you might need time to plan even just once in six months...does not seem unreasonable? Wanting a partner to occasionally spend some of their non-work time with you seems fine to me? Like, people who are parenting together need to talk to each other, need to be able to find the bandwidth to discuss things and make decisions together even when they're exhausted, so I don't see why the LW's goals here are incompatible with that?