That, to me, would be the real red flag with Rowan: not what she did then, but how she understands it, and what she's doing about it, now.
Same! Of course, your romantic relationships are up to you so LW doesn't have to be able to explain to themselves why, they just have to know if they want to stay together or not. BUT if they are concerned about ethics and empathy, I think Rowan's current understanding of the situation and whether they acknowledge the hardship and regret what happened to their sister is the big issue. Like an above commenter said, although it's understandable for people to react with horror in situations like this bc we all know about the foster system, nobody can have a moral obligation to raise a child, and even if they could, people who didn't want to do it would still likely make terrible parents, meaning it would often be bad for children and we don't really want them to? If Rowan definitely did not want to raise (a) her sister or (b) any child at all, the likelihood that she'd have been a good parent is low. We can't know if Rue would have been better off or not, and it's completely possible that Rowan hasn't told LW the whole story - nor do they have an obligation to.
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Same! Of course, your romantic relationships are up to you so LW doesn't have to be able to explain to themselves why, they just have to know if they want to stay together or not. BUT if they are concerned about ethics and empathy, I think Rowan's current understanding of the situation and whether they acknowledge the hardship and regret what happened to their sister is the big issue. Like an above commenter said, although it's understandable for people to react with horror in situations like this bc we all know about the foster system, nobody can have a moral obligation to raise a child, and even if they could, people who didn't want to do it would still likely make terrible parents, meaning it would often be bad for children and we don't really want them to? If Rowan definitely did not want to raise (a) her sister or (b) any child at all, the likelihood that she'd have been a good parent is low. We can't know if Rue would have been better off or not, and it's completely possible that Rowan hasn't told LW the whole story - nor do they have an obligation to.