cereta: Me as drawn by my FIL (Fiona fights like a girl)
Lucy ([personal profile] cereta) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2010-09-08 07:29 am
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Dear Abby: ZING!

DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old man who has been divorced for six months. I recently moved down to South Florida for a new job. I am trying out the dating scene, but it has been difficult because I was married for 10 years.

Abby, it's hard to find decent, intelligent women down here. All the women I have dated so far have had breast implants. These not only look strange, but also feel uncomfortable during intimate moments. These women get a lot of looks from other men who gawk at their chests when we're together.

Would it be wrong of me to ask a woman, say within the first few dates, if her breasts are real? I don't care if they're big or small, I just want them real. -- NEEDS A REAL WOMAN IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEEDS A REAL WOMAN: I do not recommend asking women you have just met if their breasts are "real." It could lead to a punch in the nose. I am recommending you visit some dating sites and, in the area where you are asked to list "interests," you state "intelligent women who have not had plastic surgery." I'm sure you'll find many. Of course, whether you have what they're looking for remains to be seen.

P.S. One final thought: If a boob job (forgive the vernacular) has been successful, it is difficult if not impossible to detect. I have this on good authority.
wolfshark: (Default)

[personal profile] wolfshark 2010-09-08 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
What a jackass!
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Default)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2010-09-08 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Is it terrible that this made me roar with laughter? I should be analyzing the different ways he's being a twerp, but I'm just giggling.
daedala: line drawing of a picture of a bicycle by the awesome Vom Marlowe (Default)

[personal profile] daedala 2010-09-08 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
What gets me is that his objection includes other men staring at their breasts -- what, he can't notice that before he asks them out? I'm just thinking that's not his real objection....
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)

[personal profile] rydra_wong 2010-09-08 01:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yes, that struck me too. BOOBS THAT ATTRACT ATTENTION FROM MEN WHO ARE NOT HIM. HOW DARE THEY.