1) There was a letter here some months ago from the POV of the spouse with the bigoted parent. This letter breaks my heart all over again. I hope both marriages can survive.

2) this is a legal question, not a financial one: is LW's wife legally required to care for her racist mother? In her situation I'd choose the future over the past, but I wonder what she can do, legally.

3) Ughghhghggh.