Exactly! Her friends donated the money in good faith to someone who lost everything. She needs their explicit consent to just do what she sees fit with it. Otherwise she's defrauded them.

It's not just the aggrieved tone and the missing reasons galore - the one thing that most strongly emerges from this letter is a clear picture of someone who is incredibly self-absorbed. The odds that the writer of a letter like this was acting in good faith, included all the facts, etc. are almost zero.