Annie quietly complained until we got to the presents.
Does LW mean Annie was complaining at her own shower in front of the guests? If so, yes, that's obnoxious behavior; Annie should complain to her mother in private but be pleasant in front of guests, some of whom are presumably not family members and don't want to be dragged into family drama.
And that said, this seems to be a family where if Annie did say straight out to her mother, "look, I know you want to have a nice party for the family, but I'd rather spend money on a nice trip with my new husband or enough of a down payment on a house to make my mortgage payments smaller", she'd be told "tough luck, you're having a Proper Wedding". Still, LW sounds like she wants to stoke the drama, not ease it.
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Annie quietly complained until we got to the presents.
Does LW mean Annie was complaining at her own shower in front of the guests? If so, yes, that's obnoxious behavior; Annie should complain to her mother in private but be pleasant in front of guests, some of whom are presumably not family members and don't want to be dragged into family drama.
And that said, this seems to be a family where if Annie did say straight out to her mother, "look, I know you want to have a nice party for the family, but I'd rather spend money on a nice trip with my new husband or enough of a down payment on a house to make my mortgage payments smaller", she'd be told "tough luck, you're having a Proper Wedding". Still, LW sounds like she wants to stoke the drama, not ease it.