I had an initial kneejerk toward "she shouldn't do it", but if she's a legal adult, it's her decision. I'm not in love with the reasoning that she's too young to do such a thing to her body, because the same arguments are used against trans people. "You don't know who you are yet", "you're not secure in your own body yet", "you might grow out of it", etc. I know people don't automatically think of breast augmentation as being something that falls into that category, but body dysphoria isn't all about gender, and the most surprising things have impacted it for me.
Whether the parents should pay or not is a different problem; if they've offered her that amount of money, I probably fall on the side of thinking they should uphold their offer, though I probably personally would not pay for such a thing as a graduation present.
If they have begun to worry about it, then maybe it'd be worth suggesting things like "we'll put the money aside for now, in your account, but we'd like to ask you to wait until you're 21 as a favour to us". I personally didn't finish growing taller until I was 23 (yes, I know, female-bodied people typically stop growing earlier than that, but I initially stalled at about age 15 and then resumed growing when I was 20, gaining two more inches of height), for example, and my body shape definitely stayed in flux until at least then. It's worth mentioning to her that any such changes may change her decision about how she would like the breast augmentation to look. Any surgery needs informed consent, so her awareness of such considerations is important.
If she has serious self-esteem issues around her looks (which this desire for surgery suggests), then I do also recommend asking her if she'd like to speak to someone about that at the parents' expense, too. Not as a requirement for the surgery, just as something that may be helpful to her.
no subject
Yeah, I feel this.
I had an initial kneejerk toward "she shouldn't do it", but if she's a legal adult, it's her decision. I'm not in love with the reasoning that she's too young to do such a thing to her body, because the same arguments are used against trans people. "You don't know who you are yet", "you're not secure in your own body yet", "you might grow out of it", etc. I know people don't automatically think of breast augmentation as being something that falls into that category, but body dysphoria isn't all about gender, and the most surprising things have impacted it for me.
Whether the parents should pay or not is a different problem; if they've offered her that amount of money, I probably fall on the side of thinking they should uphold their offer, though I probably personally would not pay for such a thing as a graduation present.
If they have begun to worry about it, then maybe it'd be worth suggesting things like "we'll put the money aside for now, in your account, but we'd like to ask you to wait until you're 21 as a favour to us". I personally didn't finish growing taller until I was 23 (yes, I know, female-bodied people typically stop growing earlier than that, but I initially stalled at about age 15 and then resumed growing when I was 20, gaining two more inches of height), for example, and my body shape definitely stayed in flux until at least then. It's worth mentioning to her that any such changes may change her decision about how she would like the breast augmentation to look. Any surgery needs informed consent, so her awareness of such considerations is important.
If she has serious self-esteem issues around her looks (which this desire for surgery suggests), then I do also recommend asking her if she'd like to speak to someone about that at the parents' expense, too. Not as a requirement for the surgery, just as something that may be helpful to her.