You are not wrong about typical versus perfect use but I felt the need to add a couple of points here:
Point the first: the LW specifically mentioned that she and spouse both came out of "purity culture". Now, I am not an expert on all forms of purity culture, but one of the things I have noticed is that the forms of it that I have encountered in the wild seem to include the idea that, to put it really really mildly, cismen have little to no control over their sexuality. Like, we're talking about people who think that if a grown man sees, e.g., a woman in leggings, he's going to be uncontrollably aroused by that. So my point here is that depending on the particulars of LW and husband's form(s) of purity culture, getting a dude from that background to the point where he understands that he can control his body when he's actually at the point of orgasm, much less to the point where he can do it reliably, is... probably going to take a lot longer and a lot more work than doing things that involve sharing orgasms without PIV will, and in fact doing a lot more of those things will probably help with that. And your below comment seems to play well with that notion, in fact, so, yay.
Point the second, a lot of the aspects of "perfect use", whether it's using oral contraceptives or the rhythm method, involves people with occupiable uteruses having to... pretty much organize their lives around keeping that organ unoccupied. Whether it's making sure that you can always take the pill at the same point in the 24-hour-cycle, no matter what else is going on in your life or what your natural circadian rhythm is (not to mention that you have a whole entire rest of your endocrine system which can throw that all to hell no matter what you do), or having to fucking think about your uterus every goddamn day for the rhythm method, it's... making people with occupiable uteruses pay a lot of damn attention to the fact that they have occupiable uteruses and really, there are a lot of us for whom that is... varying degrees of very not okay. So some of us "devalue" that method because we feel devalued as people by having to expend constant effort on not reproducing that people who never had an occupiable uterus don't have to. And also the fact that no matter how much time and attention you spend on tracking your menstrual cycle (that you could have been using for literally anything else), that effort can all be undone by a person with a penis who ejaculates inside you, whether or not you had any say in whether that penis was inside you, at the wrong time.
no subject
Point the first: the LW specifically mentioned that she and spouse both came out of "purity culture". Now, I am not an expert on all forms of purity culture, but one of the things I have noticed is that the forms of it that I have encountered in the wild seem to include the idea that, to put it really really mildly, cismen have little to no control over their sexuality. Like, we're talking about people who think that if a grown man sees, e.g., a woman in leggings, he's going to be uncontrollably aroused by that. So my point here is that depending on the particulars of LW and husband's form(s) of purity culture, getting a dude from that background to the point where he understands that he can control his body when he's actually at the point of orgasm, much less to the point where he can do it reliably, is... probably going to take a lot longer and a lot more work than doing things that involve sharing orgasms without PIV will, and in fact doing a lot more of those things will probably help with that. And your below comment seems to play well with that notion, in fact, so, yay.
Point the second, a lot of the aspects of "perfect use", whether it's using oral contraceptives or the rhythm method, involves people with occupiable uteruses having to... pretty much organize their lives around keeping that organ unoccupied. Whether it's making sure that you can always take the pill at the same point in the 24-hour-cycle, no matter what else is going on in your life or what your natural circadian rhythm is (not to mention that you have a whole entire rest of your endocrine system which can throw that all to hell no matter what you do), or having to fucking think about your uterus every goddamn day for the rhythm method, it's... making people with occupiable uteruses pay a lot of damn attention to the fact that they have occupiable uteruses and really, there are a lot of us for whom that is... varying degrees of very not okay. So some of us "devalue" that method because we feel devalued as people by having to expend constant effort on not reproducing that people who never had an occupiable uterus don't have to. And also the fact that no matter how much time and attention you spend on tracking your menstrual cycle (that you could have been using for literally anything else), that effort can all be undone by a person with a penis who ejaculates inside you, whether or not you had any say in whether that penis was inside you, at the wrong time.