I know! I was just amazed at how terrible that advice was. Has Jamilah never met a teenager ever??
LW, your daughter doesn't trust you enough to tell you things like this. It could be just that she's a teenager. It could be the boyfriend's influence. It could be because she knew that if she told you, you would react the way you did.
Work on building the kind of trust that will convince her to tell you the things she's learning and doing, and then work on ways to respond to that which make it clear you disagree without making her feel like you're trying to control her. (You do respect women's rights to make their own choices, don't you?) For LW, this probably *doesn't* feel all that different than any other way she might try to assert her independence - except that it works a lot better.
Honestly LW, if there were foolproof advice for how to get teenage girls away from boys who were very bad for them, all of human history would be very, very different. But the advice in this letter will just drive her farther in.
no subject
LW, your daughter doesn't trust you enough to tell you things like this. It could be just that she's a teenager. It could be the boyfriend's influence. It could be because she knew that if she told you, you would react the way you did.
Work on building the kind of trust that will convince her to tell you the things she's learning and doing, and then work on ways to respond to that which make it clear you disagree without making her feel like you're trying to control her. (You do respect women's rights to make their own choices, don't you?) For LW, this probably *doesn't* feel all that different than any other way she might try to assert her independence - except that it works a lot better.
Honestly LW, if there were foolproof advice for how to get teenage girls away from boys who were very bad for them, all of human history would be very, very different. But the advice in this letter will just drive her farther in.