I guess maybe . . . *squints at it, pokes* I suppose I have vaguely run into circles where "my boyfriend likes this" = "this is something I have to do in order to keep boyfriend", now that I think about it? They don't leap to mind because frankly I find them alien, but I have run into them.
So if he and Abby are both working from THAT model - one where for weird and fucked up reasons the request puts a HUGE IMPOSITION on girlfriend - then maybe it makes sense?
. . . I dunno, as I said, I find that entire CONCEPT of relationships so alien that I have no idea where the norms and lines run, now that I think about it. But it does exist, because now that I've thought about it I have had a number of conversations that more or less run:
"UGH, [random grooming or appearance-altering thing] is THE WORST." " . . . so stop doing it?" "I can't, my boyfriend likes [whatever]." " . . . . ? But you hate it. So stop doing it." "I can't do that."
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So if he and Abby are both working from THAT model - one where for weird and fucked up reasons the request puts a HUGE IMPOSITION on girlfriend - then maybe it makes sense?
. . . I dunno, as I said, I find that entire CONCEPT of relationships so alien that I have no idea where the norms and lines run, now that I think about it. But it does exist, because now that I've thought about it I have had a number of conversations that more or less run:
"UGH, [random grooming or appearance-altering thing] is THE WORST."
" . . . so stop doing it?"
"I can't, my boyfriend likes [whatever]."
" . . . . ? But you hate it. So stop doing it."
"I can't do that."