On no 2, yes, that one: at Memorial Service for my father the officiant and others mentioned to me how proud he was of me for academic achievements and occasionally being in media for same, which I wouldn't particularly have known from him talking to me directly. Was much more likely to be telling me about my sister's children/grandchildren, the area in which I had not achieved.

Maybe parents don't really know how to talk to LW about her Amazing Career? (without being on the Clooless level of the father spotted on AITA yesterday who was badgering his daughter into a nervous breakdown with his total inability to take in what she was saying about the academic job market. We think she is probably considering jobs at the University of Outer Uzbekistan just to get away from him.)