There's a lot of ground between "I am sworn to secrecy and cannot tell you anything specific, but it's for a good cause" and "welp, looks like what I have to do might end my marriage" and your husband seems to be measuring that distance in millimeters. I get that he thought he was doing a good deed, but in doing one good deed he kinda did the opposite over here, and I'm not seeing you say that he's ready to acknowledge that. I don't think he's irredeemable, but I do think you should be very careful and firm if you want to take the road of trying to patch things up, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to take that road. He's got a lot of learning to do.
no subject
There's a lot of ground between "I am sworn to secrecy and cannot tell you anything specific, but it's for a good cause" and "welp, looks like what I have to do might end my marriage" and your husband seems to be measuring that distance in millimeters. I get that he thought he was doing a good deed, but in doing one good deed he kinda did the opposite over here, and I'm not seeing you say that he's ready to acknowledge that. I don't think he's irredeemable, but I do think you should be very careful and firm if you want to take the road of trying to patch things up, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to take that road. He's got a lot of learning to do.