part of me wants to point out to the LW that bf -- and his brothers! -- put her life at risk for however long. An assumption of fidelity in a sexual relationship is a medical decision. LW sounds to me both like she's mostly aroud hets, and like she's young enough that she might not have been sexually active back when sex was scarier, but even though HIV's not a death sentence any more doesn't mean it's safe or okay to lie to your partner about something that could give them an STD. And in this day an age, that should be obvious. If you think your partner was out taking a walk, and actually he was sneaking into the ICU maskless, then you obviously have a right to be furious. Cheating and lying about it is dangerous, before you ever get to all the rest of the shit.
(It's the lying I'm mad about, to be clear. STDs mean that if you lie about how many people you're sleeping with you're preventing them from informed consent. He could be having orgies in the syphilis ward and that's fine as long as she knows.)
But LW is also a good person, seems like, and there's no way that leaving this guy (as she ought to) is going to leave her unscathed. She needs a trusted person--a therapist, a religious leader, the one friend who didn't tell her she's soooo nice--who can help her with the process. It's going to leave scars.
no subject
part of me wants to point out to the LW that bf -- and his brothers! -- put her life at risk for however long. An assumption of fidelity in a sexual relationship is a medical decision. LW sounds to me both like she's mostly aroud hets, and like she's young enough that she might not have been sexually active back when sex was scarier, but even though HIV's not a death sentence any more doesn't mean it's safe or okay to lie to your partner about something that could give them an STD. And in this day an age, that should be obvious. If you think your partner was out taking a walk, and actually he was sneaking into the ICU maskless, then you obviously have a right to be furious. Cheating and lying about it is dangerous, before you ever get to all the rest of the shit.
(It's the lying I'm mad about, to be clear. STDs mean that if you lie about how many people you're sleeping with you're preventing them from informed consent. He could be having orgies in the syphilis ward and that's fine as long as she knows.)
But LW is also a good person, seems like, and there's no way that leaving this guy (as she ought to) is going to leave her unscathed. She needs a trusted person--a therapist, a religious leader, the one friend who didn't tell her she's soooo nice--who can help her with the process. It's going to leave scars.