Bad question: Am I racist? (Translation: tell me I'm a good person and don't have anything to worry about! Tell me I am in the Right Category! Reassure me that I'm not evil!)
Good question: What am I doing that hurts other people? What can I do differently? How am I, in my actions and words, consciously or unconsciously, reinforcing unjust patterns in society? How can I change my habits so that they are kinder and better represent my ideals?
What's really important here, LW? Being reassured of your unimpeachable moral purity, or your relationship with your stepson and future daughter-in-law? You hurt someone you care about. Focus there. What can you do to behave better toward her? Not because you want Woke Points to wave in the face of the next person who thinks you're racist, but because she's a person and you want to be good to her, not hit her with microaggressions and never be questioned. She trusted you enough to tell you that you hurt her. Now you get to decide to be worthy of that trust.
no subject
Good question: What am I doing that hurts other people? What can I do differently? How am I, in my actions and words, consciously or unconsciously, reinforcing unjust patterns in society? How can I change my habits so that they are kinder and better represent my ideals?
What's really important here, LW? Being reassured of your unimpeachable moral purity, or your relationship with your stepson and future daughter-in-law? You hurt someone you care about. Focus there. What can you do to behave better toward her? Not because you want Woke Points to wave in the face of the next person who thinks you're racist, but because she's a person and you want to be good to her, not hit her with microaggressions and never be questioned. She trusted you enough to tell you that you hurt her. Now you get to decide to be worthy of that trust.