"I think this guy may be expecting to be the first priority of someone who is his third priority." And he's chosen some very legit priorities--- his kids, and lucrative work with job requirements he's comfortable with! These are good choices! Well done, LW, you seem to have your priorities in order!
Yes, exactly! But, LW, you're only in your mid-40s, and given the prejudices of our society, since you don't mention that you date older women, you are certainly dating no older than yourself. And mid-40s is pretty young to say I am not looking to start a second family at the expense of my first for a lot of people. A woman with more of her life behind her might be happy to find someone in the same stage of looking-for-acquaintanceship-and-sex that I suspect LW is seeking, but it's going to take more work to find it in a woman who is still in the kids-are-feasible range. And if a woman has reached that age without kids of her own, it may be that she doesn't want kids in her life. I'm not saying you can't find someone who shares your priorities, which are good ones, but you have to work at it.
I do have suspicions about missing context, though. "I put all my cards on the table but they keep leaving me when they find out I mean it" seems hinky to me.
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Yes, exactly! But, LW, you're only in your mid-40s, and given the prejudices of our society, since you don't mention that you date older women, you are certainly dating no older than yourself. And mid-40s is pretty young to say I am not looking to start a second family at the expense of my first for a lot of people. A woman with more of her life behind her might be happy to find someone in the same stage of looking-for-acquaintanceship-and-sex that I suspect LW is seeking, but it's going to take more work to find it in a woman who is still in the kids-are-feasible range. And if a woman has reached that age without kids of her own, it may be that she doesn't want kids in her life. I'm not saying you can't find someone who shares your priorities, which are good ones, but you have to work at it.
I do have suspicions about missing context, though. "I put all my cards on the table but they keep leaving me when they find out I mean it" seems hinky to me.