First time parents of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers can be really uptight. It's a thing.
Nevertheless, LW's mother's reaction was so far out of line, no matter *how* LW acted when she came home, that it should have been the bulk of this answer, and for that, this is the only sentence in the original letter that matters:
I think she’s maybe trying to manipulate me into admitting fault (she’s been doing that to me my whole life, I think), but I badly do not want to be bullied into taking full blame for a conflict for which I strongly feel she is at fault.
LW doesn't need to figure out how to make the next visit go better. LW needs to get some therapy and determine how much contact she really wants her parents to have with her family.
no subject
Nevertheless, LW's mother's reaction was so far out of line, no matter *how* LW acted when she came home, that it should have been the bulk of this answer, and for that, this is the only sentence in the original letter that matters:
I think she’s maybe trying to manipulate me into admitting fault (she’s been doing that to me my whole life, I think), but I badly do not want to be bullied into taking full blame for a conflict for which I strongly feel she is at fault.
LW doesn't need to figure out how to make the next visit go better. LW needs to get some therapy and determine how much contact she really wants her parents to have with her family.