Agreed. I’ve been openly polyamorous (in age-appropriate ways) since my daughter was 7, it didn’t harm her at all to “find out,” because it was never a secret.
The mother absolutely had a responsibility to tell the 19 (!!!)-yr-old that the father wasn’t cheating, that everything is okay with their marriage including other partners, and that nothing nefarious was happening.
The poor daughter has to be going through agonies over this :(
Even if the mother froze in the moment, there are ways to ameliorate it — “I’m sorry, I never expected to be having this conversation and I wasn’t prepared, but I want you to know that your father wasn’t cheating and I knew where he was and who he was with. It’s awkward to have to talk to your children about our love/sex lives, but I need to correct the understandable misimpression you had when you saw your Dad with his girlfriend/other partner.”
Ideally, she would say that it’s an equal arrangement, but she at least needs to disclose that it wasn’t covert or against her will.
no subject
The mother absolutely had a responsibility to tell the 19 (!!!)-yr-old that the father wasn’t cheating, that everything is okay with their marriage including other partners, and that nothing nefarious was happening.
The poor daughter has to be going through agonies over this :(
Even if the mother froze in the moment, there are ways to ameliorate it — “I’m sorry, I never expected to be having this conversation and I wasn’t prepared, but I want you to know that your father wasn’t cheating and I knew where he was and who he was with. It’s awkward to have to talk to your children about our love/sex lives, but I need to correct the understandable misimpression you had when you saw your Dad with his girlfriend/other partner.”
Ideally, she would say that it’s an equal arrangement, but she at least needs to disclose that it wasn’t covert or against her will.