I have had people concern troll me about mental health and ability to be a kind person over expressing a desire to exercise more. Specifically, to exercise more because of the history of heart disease in my family including my dad having a heart attack at the age of 54.
What I really wish existed is an ethos/community somewhere between "sugar is literal poison and will kill you/gotta get SKINNY for BEACH SEASON" and "it has been scientifically proven that sustained weight loss is impossible so you shouldn't even try".
The first I've seen largely offline, accompanied by fatphobic self-flagellation that makes the environment hostile to me. The second I've seen largely online, among people who self identify as proponents of HAES, which makes the environment hostile to me.
Ultimately I identify more with the LW than I do with her friends.
It's legitimately distressing when you make an improvement to your quality of life and people who care about you are so deep in their own hurt that they can neither pretend to be happy for you or express that your X is, through no fault of your own, hurting their Y.
I'm also not thrilled with the defense of the friends' passive aggression (a legitimately bad behavior) and the repeated insistence that the LW should just know better. I am also not convinced that the friends have expressed using words that they don't want to talk about exercise, gyms, bodies, or weight.
(I'm also happy to share my weight, height, regular clothing sizes, and measurements in case anyone doubts my experience as real fat person.)
no subject
I have had people concern troll me about mental health and ability to be a kind person over expressing a desire to exercise more. Specifically, to exercise more because of the history of heart disease in my family including my dad having a heart attack at the age of 54.
What I really wish existed is an ethos/community somewhere between "sugar is literal poison and will kill you/gotta get SKINNY for BEACH SEASON" and "it has been scientifically proven that sustained weight loss is impossible so you shouldn't even try".
The first I've seen largely offline, accompanied by fatphobic self-flagellation that makes the environment hostile to me. The second I've seen largely online, among people who self identify as proponents of HAES, which makes the environment hostile to me.
Ultimately I identify more with the LW than I do with her friends.
It's legitimately distressing when you make an improvement to your quality of life and people who care about you are so deep in their own hurt that they can neither pretend to be happy for you or express that your X is, through no fault of your own, hurting their Y.
I'm also not thrilled with the defense of the friends' passive aggression (a legitimately bad behavior) and the repeated insistence that the LW should just know better. I am also not convinced that the friends have expressed using words that they don't want to talk about exercise, gyms, bodies, or weight.
(I'm also happy to share my weight, height, regular clothing sizes, and measurements in case anyone doubts my experience as real fat person.)