This probably cuts both ways, like I shouldn't gush to my dieting friends about this great new fat activist blog I discovered. The thing I'm worried about is a level beyond the bit that most well-mannered people agree is boring. I have few qualms about shutting down detailed lists of numbers of reps and shaving seconds off best times and all that stuff, just boring. And similarly if small talk with colleagues or other casual acquaintances turns to bonding over diet rituals I can change the subject.

But if it's someone I'm really close to, a dear friend or a partner, and they want to talk about how they love their new community and feel powerful and strong, then I want to do better than 'shut up about your boring new hobby'. I would like to celebrate my loved ones' real achievements, even if it can feel a bit like, go me, I'm not ugly and disgusting like you any more. And on the other side of the coin, if someone I care about is talking excitedly about severe calorie restriction and intense exercise or how much they feel good about punishing their awful body, then I might actually be concerned about their physical and mental health. That's more than just an abstract political concern about whether dieting is generally good for society, that's a personal concern for my friend. Quite often it's a mixture of both: they have made real health improvements but also got into a spiral that looks to me as if it might reactivate a past eating disorder.

In that situation, I don't think the right response is, great, well done, what about that [topic of mutual interest], then? I know very well how to position myself as someone you shouldn't share this important to you topic with, but I don't want to cut off people I care about like that.