I think it's not necessarily unethical to be a bit vague or even slightly mendacious about the source of personal stories, especially in a professional setting where people may not be entitled to know the exact relationships you have out of work (Sorry, DW, you have been "my good friends from out of state" for years! And I don't, for example, think there's anything wrong at all about telling about a true thing that happened to a person who you are totally cousins with.)
But when it's a situation of systematically lying about things that don't put you at any risk, while deliberately trying to establish trust and closeness with someone you are in a position of power over, in order to gain more power over them? That's really fucked up. Don't do that.
This is actually the kind of behavior that's often a coping strategy of "difficult" kids, and other people who have been relatively powerless - they have had no success with honesty getting them anywhere with authority figures, so they've learned to say whatever gets them what they need, instead. But your partner's students aren't in a position of authority over him; and if he's conceptualizing them that way, it's a big problem.
I don't know that lying on this level would jeopardize his career per se, but if he's building his career on a reputation for being close to vulnerable kids, the fact that he's using dishonesty and manipulation to do it could absolutely come back to bite him hard in terms of professional reputation.
Also, "using cynical manipulation tactics in order to gain a position of trust with vulnerable children" is setting off *all* my warning bells, LW. Maybe he's not doing anything else unethical with them once the trust is established. But it sure does make me wonder.
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But when it's a situation of systematically lying about things that don't put you at any risk, while deliberately trying to establish trust and closeness with someone you are in a position of power over, in order to gain more power over them? That's really fucked up. Don't do that.
This is actually the kind of behavior that's often a coping strategy of "difficult" kids, and other people who have been relatively powerless - they have had no success with honesty getting them anywhere with authority figures, so they've learned to say whatever gets them what they need, instead. But your partner's students aren't in a position of authority over him; and if he's conceptualizing them that way, it's a big problem.
I don't know that lying on this level would jeopardize his career per se, but if he's building his career on a reputation for being close to vulnerable kids, the fact that he's using dishonesty and manipulation to do it could absolutely come back to bite him hard in terms of professional reputation.
Also, "using cynical manipulation tactics in order to gain a position of trust with vulnerable children" is setting off *all* my warning bells, LW. Maybe he's not doing anything else unethical with them once the trust is established. But it sure does make me wonder.