I'd seriously examine that relationship if I were the LW. The man she married is clearly ethnocentric, racist, and unwilling to acknowledge the rest of the world. Growing up bilingual is a gift, and allows a person to broaden their horizons and opportunities immeasurably. He isn't prepared to accept his wife's background or history, much less her language, and I feel very sorry for her and for their children. The idea that she's "white" and should stop acting like she's "special" is just confusing. Does he think that "white" means "American English"?