I'm honestly not sure about this one. And I say this as a Black woman who grew up in the US, under the cloud of its biases, with a non-Western name (albeit one whose phonemes are all found in English).
but.
Absent any other indications, I don't see enough evidence that Boyfriend is only dating not-Sara due to racial fetishism, and the reason I point it out is that saying so to not-Sara may have the opposite effect from intended. Boyfriend may simply be being lazy, sexist, and racist while dating not-Sara for herself (as much as is possible under those conditions, which isn't very much, alas). Absolutely if there's any other evidence, bring it up, but when pointing out his flaws I think there's room to be careful to not add any that don't exist. And/or, to carefully investigate if there is more evidence (after all, it took the second time someone wanted me for racially fetishistic reasons for me to recognize the pattern).
The caveat takes more time to outline than the main response, though, which in my case here is: I tend to be pretty restrictive about when a parent should let themself interfere in a young adult's relationship, but I think this may be such a case. Certainly, not-Sara could use to be told, and I desperately hope she hears, that she doesn't have to be repackaged and even renamed in order to be lovable. And I would definitely recommend she call Whole Man Disposal Services.
Except that as I wrote this I suddenly wondered what not-Sara thinks of her own name. (For the record, I love mine.)
Remember how I mentioned that our identities affect our lives?
but.
Absent any other indications, I don't see enough evidence that Boyfriend is only dating not-Sara due to racial fetishism, and the reason I point it out is that saying so to not-Sara may have the opposite effect from intended. Boyfriend may simply be being lazy, sexist, and racist while dating not-Sara for herself (as much as is possible under those conditions, which isn't very much, alas). Absolutely if there's any other evidence, bring it up, but when pointing out his flaws I think there's room to be careful to not add any that don't exist. And/or, to carefully investigate if there is more evidence (after all, it took the second time someone wanted me for racially fetishistic reasons for me to recognize the pattern).
The caveat takes more time to outline than the main response, though, which in my case here is: I tend to be pretty restrictive about when a parent should let themself interfere in a young adult's relationship, but I think this may be such a case. Certainly, not-Sara could use to be told, and I desperately hope she hears, that she doesn't have to be repackaged and even renamed in order to be lovable. And I would definitely recommend she call Whole Man Disposal Services.
Except that as I wrote this I suddenly wondered what not-Sara thinks of her own name. (For the record, I love mine.)