Possible TMI: My spouse doesn't go down on me, precisely because he doesn't like the taste. It has nothing to do with "freshness" or cleanliness: he just doesn't. Fortunately, it doesn't do a whole hell of a lot for me, either, so it doesn't really bother me. There are things I won't do because I find them unpleasant. We both try to find other ways to please each other.

I definitely think counseling is needed here. The biggest thing the LW has to make clear is that their reaction that first time was about them. The mistake wasn't in expressing a lack of enjoyment. It was in phrasing it as if there were something wrong with her. It's going to take work to unravel this twisty knot, and that's probably not going to happen without help.