Thank you so much! And, frankly, the LW's erasure/ignoring of the son was so pervasive, I even caught myself doing it and had to edit the comment. My original sentence read, "When your mother verbally erases your agency in decisions you are making in a letter to an advice columnist about how she doesn't like the decisions you are making, yeah, maybe there is some actual ignoring going on even when you think what you are doing is "paying attention" to him." I had literally switched in the middle of the sentence from talking to the son to talking to the mother. Even when I was critiquing her for making everything about her, I got sucked in to making everything about her.