This letter writer's wife, if anything, annoyed me even more than the man who would rather spike his wife's career than move cities. The LW is being a very good and thoughtful mother by intending to give her daughter information she'll need ahead of time (as someone who hit puberty early in a repressive environment I want to hug her) and not only is her wife putting unexamined baggage before the child's welfare but she used 'feminism' as a weapon.

I really hope LW's wife asks herself, "why did I do that?" and can come to LW, apologize, and make plans for dealing with whatever is bothering her, which might be quite a large thing --puberty can be horrible, not least for those of us who get blamed for others' inappropriate reactions, and I can beleive that LW's wife has some terrible residuals from her own puberty. However, letting a child deal with that alone and uninformed is at least horrendously negligent. LW's wife needs to get it together.

(I say this not only as someone who went through puberty early and with books my only friend, but as someone in a semi-parental role who has been working on my own puberty issues because that's what the kids need. So I might have a few opinions.)