yeah, if the LW wants the GF to be involved she needs to get the son involved. This means no more boys don't clean up baloney. I can see the GF saying she is a guest to soften the blow/misdirect if this was her "polite" way of saying no way am I going to do dishes to support the patriarchy. But if say, the LW had actually talked to her son about this then perhaps this would no longer be an issue. Also, at this point grandma should be allowed to sit herself down and not be doing dishes.
Another viewpoint. My wife has never, ever, helped out in the kitchen of her own house. Her father is OCD and no one is allowed into the kitchen to help cook him cook, not even his wife. And no one is allowed to help her mother clean (since she is by extension doing it the way he wants it cleaned and no one else is good enough to do it but him or her). I have never stepped foot into the kitchen bc SHE has never foot into the kitchen. If LW actually talked to the GF, like sat down outside of the kitchen and had a conversation OTHER than help me clean up the patriarchy, she might find that no one in her family cooks. They might all eat on paper plates and toss them in the trash. But really at this point have a conversation with her other than about food or cleaning and get to know her instead of having expectations. To LW the GF is a 2 dimensional figure that doesn't get to be a person unless she is helping. And that doesn't seem right.
no subject
Another viewpoint. My wife has never, ever, helped out in the kitchen of her own house. Her father is OCD and no one is allowed into the kitchen to help cook him cook, not even his wife. And no one is allowed to help her mother clean (since she is by extension doing it the way he wants it cleaned and no one else is good enough to do it but him or her). I have never stepped foot into the kitchen bc SHE has never foot into the kitchen. If LW actually talked to the GF, like sat down outside of the kitchen and had a conversation OTHER than help me clean up the patriarchy, she might find that no one in her family cooks. They might all eat on paper plates and toss them in the trash. But really at this point have a conversation with her other than about food or cleaning and get to know her instead of having expectations. To LW the GF is a 2 dimensional figure that doesn't get to be a person unless she is helping. And that doesn't seem right.