Upon rereading, I realized it's ambiguous to whom LW is referring when she says, "I'm lucky to have him in my life." She might be talking about her son. I guess my answer is basically the same, though.

I struggled with this letter because ultra-conservative religion is so foreign to me. I can see that LW might want someone in her life who understands where she came from. But her (former) abuser? And I also hope her ex is freeing himself from the toxic culture in which he was raised and coming to grips with the ways in which he perpetuated the abuses encouraged by that community, but again, I don't think it's fair or healthy he do so with his victim. My instinct says LW needs to get away from him, at least as much as feasible while co-parenting, but as an outsider, it's difficult for me to feel confident putting my values on these two or feeling I understand what's best for them.

I am very sorry you grew up in an environment like theirs.