I was once introduced to a new software developer at my job, an older white man, as a software developer. He said, "oh, and you're a product manager?"
I was flummoxed. How to succinctly explain that what he'd just done was stunningly sexist, while not in any way dissing the skills of the (mostly female) product managers? Luckily, the (younger, white, male) programmer who'd introduced me looked startled and said "no, I said she's a software developer," and that was that.
I could come up with another 5 stories like that from my own personal experience -- at least once far worse and more consequential -- without breaking a sweat.
(Similarly, there was a point about a decade ago where some women programmers were pushing back at there always being gender and technology panels populated with "women near tech" -- women in tech marketing or management or, yes, product management. Some women near tech got very angry at the distinction, and honestly I'd be surprised if there hadn't been some scornful superiority BS from some of the female programmers. And yet, there still needs to be a healthy way to point out how bullshit it is that female tech panelists are so often founders or marketing or design, and so rarely programmers (or system admins, etc). It's garbage to devalue traditionally women's work, but it's also garbage to call a software developer a product manager, or to call a woman in tech sales your representative of "women in tech".
And make no mistake, it's the patriarchy that pits us all against each other. By making sure women's work is poorly paying and disrespected, it guarantees that if LW doesn't push back against being associated with Icky Lady Jobs, she's less likely to get promotions, good assignments, or respect. It puts the onus on LW to police the boundaries of acceptable work.
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I was once introduced to a new software developer at my job, an older white man, as a software developer. He said, "oh, and you're a product manager?"
I was flummoxed. How to succinctly explain that what he'd just done was stunningly sexist, while not in any way dissing the skills of the (mostly female) product managers? Luckily, the (younger, white, male) programmer who'd introduced me looked startled and said "no, I said she's a software developer," and that was that.
I could come up with another 5 stories like that from my own personal experience -- at least once far worse and more consequential -- without breaking a sweat.
(Similarly, there was a point about a decade ago where some women programmers were pushing back at there always being gender and technology panels populated with "women near tech" -- women in tech marketing or management or, yes, product management. Some women near tech got very angry at the distinction, and honestly I'd be surprised if there hadn't been some scornful superiority BS from some of the female programmers. And yet, there still needs to be a healthy way to point out how bullshit it is that female tech panelists are so often founders or marketing or design, and so rarely programmers (or system admins, etc). It's garbage to devalue traditionally women's work, but it's also garbage to call a software developer a product manager, or to call a woman in tech sales your representative of "women in tech".
And make no mistake, it's the patriarchy that pits us all against each other. By making sure women's work is poorly paying and disrespected, it guarantees that if LW doesn't push back against being associated with Icky Lady Jobs, she's less likely to get promotions, good assignments, or respect. It puts the onus on LW to police the boundaries of acceptable work.
tl;dr Smash the patriarchy.)