Here's what the LW needs to know: Their brother's safety is more important than seeing relatives. Their brother's safety is more important than the comfort of those relatives wrt "drama" or "awkwardness". Their brother's safety is more important than what the rest of the family thinks about them and their husband.
LW should tell their family two things:
1) The entire situation surrounding Brother coming to live with us was painful and distressing. As a result of that, we have a strict no parents policy. We do not want to see them or to be in the same place where they are. Please do not invite them to any event where you invite us. If you do, we will leave.
1.5) And then leave if parents are present. Express disappointment to the hosts a day or two after the event concludes.
2) Because the entire situation was painful, please don't say anything about it unless Brother brings it up first. We want to focus on making new, happy memories--not dwelling on bad ones.
2.5) And shut those conversations down with scripted replies such as, "Wow, what a weird/awkward/invasive question to ask. So, about that Local Sports Team!" Enable Brother to shut those conversations down as well, should they show up while he's on his own, and back him up in any subsequent pushback he receives, including leaving the event.
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Here's what the LW needs to know: Their brother's safety is more important than seeing relatives. Their brother's safety is more important than the comfort of those relatives wrt "drama" or "awkwardness". Their brother's safety is more important than what the rest of the family thinks about them and their husband.
LW should tell their family two things:
1) The entire situation surrounding Brother coming to live with us was painful and distressing. As a result of that, we have a strict no parents policy. We do not want to see them or to be in the same place where they are. Please do not invite them to any event where you invite us. If you do, we will leave.
1.5) And then leave if parents are present. Express disappointment to the hosts a day or two after the event concludes.
2) Because the entire situation was painful, please don't say anything about it unless Brother brings it up first. We want to focus on making new, happy memories--not dwelling on bad ones.
2.5) And shut those conversations down with scripted replies such as, "Wow, what a weird/awkward/invasive question to ask. So, about that Local Sports Team!" Enable Brother to shut those conversations down as well, should they show up while he's on his own, and back him up in any subsequent pushback he receives, including leaving the event.