I’m not challenging your right to feel this way, but — why a grudge?
My birth father had not been told of my existence, and once he learned about me, he searched for and found me. He considered pursuing custody, but ultimately decided against it. This happened when I was seven years old, and the adoption was being finalized.
It sounds like he was kept completely out of the loop about the LW’s *existence* (by the birth mother and her family), and as soon as he discovered that he had fathered a child, he reached out and wanted to be part of their life (and was rebuffed by the adoptive family.)
Then, he reached out to the LW when they were an adult, and established a relationship, and has been respectful about it.
What did he do wrong, to merit a grudge being held?
no subject
My birth father had not been told of my existence, and once he learned about me, he searched for and found me. He considered pursuing custody, but ultimately decided against it. This happened when I was seven years old, and the adoption was being finalized.
It sounds like he was kept completely out of the loop about the LW’s *existence* (by the birth mother and her family), and as soon as he discovered that he had fathered a child, he reached out and wanted to be part of their life (and was rebuffed by the adoptive family.)
Then, he reached out to the LW when they were an adult, and established a relationship, and has been respectful about it.
What did he do wrong, to merit a grudge being held?