... but the dog is pretty much the whole issue; a discussion about any hobby that doesn't involve a living, shedding, bounding, pooping creature is a very different discussion. Discussing "I feel like he gets everything he wants and my needs are constantly being stifled" is very different than discussing "how can I force him to love a dog he says he doesn't want?"
This reminds me of a fight a friend of mine and I had over a movie that I liked despite its sexism and she hated because of its sexism. We had a fight over it because she thought, aghast, that I approved of its sexism, and I flailed around until I could get across that I liked the universe and could see ways it wouldn't have to be as sexist as portrayed. You and beable find her desire to have a dog reasonable and more, so you're seeing those of us who disagree with her as disagreeing with her desire to have a dog, as disagreeing with the concept of dogs as good things. But meanwhile, I know I personally don't want to live with a dog and I have gotten grief from people over that, and it seems that there are some other commenters here who are pretty sure they'd be displeased if someone forced them to live with a dog, so from what I can see what we disagree with the LW on is not her liking of dogs or her wanting equality in her marriage, but her plan to somehow convince or even force her husband to live with a dog.
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This reminds me of a fight a friend of mine and I had over a movie that I liked despite its sexism and she hated because of its sexism. We had a fight over it because she thought, aghast, that I approved of its sexism, and I flailed around until I could get across that I liked the universe and could see ways it wouldn't have to be as sexist as portrayed. You and