Sooooo I'm a spouse who feels threatened by my husband having female friends, because I am an insecure mess and made of self-loathing with a pile of mental illnesses to boot, and I'm pathologically afraid of him choosing one of them over me any day.
He knows this, in a way where I've told him so that he knows what the issues are going on inside my head.
And that's it. He still socializes with his female friends, still probably sees his friend/co-worker Jessie more than he sees me because that's just how our schedules work, and I don't read their messages, don't ask him not to spend time with them, don't try to limit them in any way. I just make sure he knows that I feel threatened and am insecure, and also that I know that's pathological and it's my problem.
There's a big difference between worrying about your SO falling for someone else and acting to control them in a way that just makes it more likely.
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He knows this, in a way where I've told him so that he knows what the issues are going on inside my head.
And that's it. He still socializes with his female friends, still probably sees his friend/co-worker Jessie more than he sees me because that's just how our schedules work, and I don't read their messages, don't ask him not to spend time with them, don't try to limit them in any way. I just make sure he knows that I feel threatened and am insecure, and also that I know that's pathological and it's my problem.
There's a big difference between worrying about your SO falling for someone else and acting to control them in a way that just makes it more likely.