melannen: Commander Valentine of Alpha Squad Seven, a red-haired female Nick Fury in space, smoking contemplatively (Default)
melannen ([personal profile] melannen) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2019-11-20 10:21 pm (UTC)

I like this advice.

Although I would add to "let yourself be hurt, angry, bewildered, and upset" also "let yourself be kind to yourself where you can." If you want to rebuild your relationships with these people later - you're allowed to. And you don't have to beat yourself up over not knowing what you didn't know, either, or imagining that everyone was laughing at you behind your back when probably either they didn't know either, or they were too busy feeling shitty about their bad choices to gloat at you.

You probably will need to beat yourself up about these things for awhile - but you don't have to, and the worst-case scenarios your mind is digging up for you don't have to be given any extra space in your brain.

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