How do I get her to get off the fence and make up her mind?
She's not on the fence, Mr. Nice GuyTM. She didn't pretend to be your friend while secretly wanting something else. She didn't lie about her feelings, insinuate herself into your life while secretly auditioning you to be the perfect husband and father. You, OTOH, have violated her trust, held what she thought was a wonderful friendship hostage to make her conform to your (for her) unwanted expectations. By all means, cut her off. She'll be better off for it.
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She's not on the fence, Mr. Nice GuyTM. She didn't pretend to be your friend while secretly wanting something else. She didn't lie about her feelings, insinuate herself into your life while secretly auditioning you to be the perfect
husband and father. You, OTOH, have violated her trust, held what she thought was a wonderful friendship hostage to make her conform to your (for her) unwanted expectations. By all means, cut her off. She'll be better off for it.