I don't think he's arguing in good faith here. But I do think the way we talk about abuse is (1) sometimes legitimately confusing to both victims and perpetrators and (2) allows people like this guy to find a place to hide in the small print.

Because people seem to walk away with the idea that you're abusing someone if you want them to suffer, but it's not abuse if you want them to be free of their terrible family, or if you want them to improve as human beings, or if you're just trying to be sure they don't cheat on you or break up with you.

But what makes it abuse isn't the abuser's intentions; it's how it affects the victim, and whether or not the victim has the power to change it.