There is also a difference between "someone who is abstaining" and "the guest of honor", LW. It is not rude to drink around an abstaining person; it is definitely on the edge of rude to plan a party around an activity the guest of honor cannot participate in. I suspect you are closer to the second category there than the first.
It would also be pretty rude to plan a surprise cocktail hour birthday party for your friend who can't drink, when you could have planned a party that was actually things they could enjoy, instead. It would be rude to plan a bicycle outing as a retirement party for your friend who just broke his hip. Think about it like that.
(Yes, unless the wedding is more than nine months away I am afraid you will also likely have a non-boozy bachelorette party and a non-boozy bridal shower, and probably also a non-boozy baby shower, although of course it is up to the GoH whether she decides she would enjoy watching her guests drink after all. The wedding is a little bit different, because it has many more important things than drinking going on for the guests of honor, although there are still plenty of dry weddings in cases where the bride or groom or sometimes a parent or close friend can't be around alcohol. I promise they are still weddings.)
If you cannot see yourself enduring multiple hours of socializing with these people without being able to drink, for whatever reason, maybe you should consider bowing out of the bridal party, since that seems to be one of the things expected of this bridal party.
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It would also be pretty rude to plan a surprise cocktail hour birthday party for your friend who can't drink, when you could have planned a party that was actually things they could enjoy, instead. It would be rude to plan a bicycle outing as a retirement party for your friend who just broke his hip. Think about it like that.
(Yes, unless the wedding is more than nine months away I am afraid you will also likely have a non-boozy bachelorette party and a non-boozy bridal shower, and probably also a non-boozy baby shower, although of course it is up to the GoH whether she decides she would enjoy watching her guests drink after all. The wedding is a little bit different, because it has many more important things than drinking going on for the guests of honor, although there are still plenty of dry weddings in cases where the bride or groom or sometimes a parent or close friend can't be around alcohol. I promise they are still weddings.)
If you cannot see yourself enduring multiple hours of socializing with these people without being able to drink, for whatever reason, maybe you should consider bowing out of the bridal party, since that seems to be one of the things expected of this bridal party.