However, if you do decide to dig it up, please make sure you do it at the new moon with a silver tipped spade wearing an amulet dipped in goat's blood. If your father was forward thinking enough to bury a stash of booty, he was undoubtedly forward thinking enough to put a curse on it, and you really don't want your fingers to turn into mealworms every time you spend a dollar of it.
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