0. The money was given as a gift and without contingencies. You owe them nothing. Before you do anything, contemplate this. They do not have a right to reclaim that money or to use it to control who you are or what you do. Not everyone can pull this off, but if you are angry enough about their shittiness, you probably can.
1. If you want to repay them, do not hurt yourself to do so. Send them what you can afford, and do not rob yourself. You have no contract. An amount like $50 is better, if you can afford that, because that's hard for them to ignore and not deposit. If you can't afford $20, $10 is fine. Formal student loans can take decades to repay.
2. I want you to comb the internet and the Sunday supplement offers and find the gayest, most rainbow-soaked, equal-rights-affirming checks you can, and keep a box of them purely for this purpose. Unicorns. Kittens in gay rights hats. Chuck Tingle cover art. Go for it!
3. There's a memo line on those checks. Leave it blank at first. You might express yourself there if they escalate the pissiness.
4. Don't communicate via your parents and don't accept communication routed that way. Make sure your parents understand: this is not about them. This is between you and the bigoted grandparents.
Finally, Mom: Did you actually say "we've always known" about your daughter's sexuality, to third parties? That was bizarre and none of your business, honestly. Stop. Stop talking about your grown daughter's sex life to the rest of the family. It's her life, not yours. Stop. Hush. Not your story.
no subject
0. The money was given as a gift and without contingencies. You owe them nothing. Before you do anything, contemplate this. They do not have a right to reclaim that money or to use it to control who you are or what you do. Not everyone can pull this off, but if you are angry enough about their shittiness, you probably can.
1. If you want to repay them, do not hurt yourself to do so. Send them what you can afford, and do not rob yourself. You have no contract. An amount like $50 is better, if you can afford that, because that's hard for them to ignore and not deposit. If you can't afford $20, $10 is fine. Formal student loans can take decades to repay.
2. I want you to comb the internet and the Sunday supplement offers and find the gayest, most rainbow-soaked, equal-rights-affirming checks you can, and keep a box of them purely for this purpose. Unicorns. Kittens in gay rights hats. Chuck Tingle cover art. Go for it!
3. There's a memo line on those checks. Leave it blank at first. You might express yourself there if they escalate the pissiness.
4. Don't communicate via your parents and don't accept communication routed that way. Make sure your parents understand: this is not about them. This is between you and the bigoted grandparents.
Finally, Mom: Did you actually say "we've always known" about your daughter's sexuality, to third parties? That was bizarre and none of your business, honestly. Stop. Stop talking about your grown daughter's sex life to the rest of the family. It's her life, not yours. Stop. Hush. Not your story.