I think the commonly held assumption that it’s taboo to talk about an ex is ridiculous. A person who never mentions their exes has something to hide. So please stop cringing and just embrace that this is a fact of you — one any new partner should happily abide.

Eh. I feel the columnist is rather dismissive of the LW here. The LW didn't say she wants to stop talking about her ex. She said she wants to stop talking about him all the time. Is it normal to sometimes mention an ex who was a big part of your life? Sure. It is normal to bring them up constantly? Maybe, maybe not, but the LW wants to be able to stop doing it to better convey that she is mentally and emotionally moving on. That seems completely reasonable.

If the LW has some close friends or family members she is comfortable recruiting to help, she can ask them to point out (maybe with a gesture) each time she mentions her ex or says "we." It will be annoying at first, but the feedback could help her begin to train herself to develop new speech patterns.

Rereading it, I'm really not impressed with the columnist's response. It's kind of nice philosophically, but it isn't helpful. The LW clearly is asking for help with speech. She only mentions identity to ask whether it's even possible for her to "keep [her] damned mouth closed" on the topic of her ex.