julian: Picture of the sign for Julian Street. (Default)
Kate ([personal profile] julian) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2019-01-02 07:29 pm (UTC)

Hurm. I think my answer to this would depend on how old the LW's sibling is. Because (in my head), if the sibling's under 18, then the dad has a (ethically dubious but nonetheless relevant) right to restrict information.

Otherwise, everyone's an adult, and the father has a right to be hurt and angry and not want to cope yet, but the LW has a right to do whatever kinds of contacting they want, too. (I differ from Amy in that I'd advocate for the LW to tell their sibling first, and then go seeking out the half-sibling, because a) then they don't have to continue keeping secrets, and b) they can get emotional support from their sibling.)

I like that Amy emphasizes reassuring the dad. Because he may well need that, and yet also be a prick about it, so it's necessary to keep remembering to *do* it.

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