kiezh: Tree and birds reflected in water. (Default)
kiezh ([personal profile] kiezh) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2018-05-22 05:48 am (UTC)

I agree completely. This bit leaped out at me:

He said he thinks “all the time” about how my addiction would impact our future family.

This relationship has gone septic. He is either holding LW's history against them "all the time" (!) without ever telling LW so they can do something about it, or going straight for the jugular in an argument so he can hurt LW badly enough to 'win'. Or both.

They should break up and go to therapy separately - him for his lingering issues over LW's addiction problems and how they affected him, and LW for the shame and regret and hopefully some help in making future plans. Having kids is a big deal and requires a lot of planning and care; there's no reason LW can't think about their long-term strategy for getting to a place where they can have kids, and how their recovery would factor in, with the help of a good therapist and a support system that doesn't think LW is too defective and stained to ever parent.

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