Tell you what - I'll give you my menu and shopping list and you give me yours, and we can each enjoy the peace of mind that comes from just going to the store and getting what's on the list. The thing about dinners in our house is that I'm the kind of cook who looks at what we've got in the pantry and throws something together with odds and ends and it comes out fantastic (or I look at 7 different recipes online and average them together and then modify that on the fly), while J needs to have a recipe on hand. So as school and jobs and general fatigue has crunched our dinner prep times, I'm usually the one throwing things together. And so I tend to have more of an idea of what's in the cupboard and what we need to get this week.

On the other hand, J will much more carefully plan things like vacations, where if it were just me I'd prolly be "hmm, looks like we're camping at the end of this disused forest service road tonight." Come to think of it, that bears a certain resemblance to my cooking style...

But, in any case, there's context to where each of us stops having Strongly Held Opinions and where we do the emotional labor to keep things running. It's taken some time to get there, and it ain't perfect yet, but recognizing it is a large part of it.