I'm 16 years younger than my sister (and 15 years younger than our brother) so I grew up with nearly that kind of age gap. (I'm now in my late 40s and they're looking at retirement age...)
One of the things we've talked about as adults is how different the houses we grew up in were - starting with state, but also economic security and the way our parents were in the larger community. (Our father was a professor, my siblings were born before he was tenured, I was born after he'd not only had tenure for about 15 years, but had been chair of the department multiple times).
He was able to be a lot more present in my day to day life in some ways because of it (he could set a schedule that meant he was able to be the one picking me up at school a lot - he'd then do more work while I was doing homework or in bed.)
But also, differences in parenting, because by the time I got them, our parents had an idea what they were doing, what they wanted to prioritise in various ways, and all that.
Just. What I got was really different (and, um, my parents also made some things much easier for me than it was for them.) On the complicated side, our father died when I was 15, and whoo boy is that whole lot of difference, because I never got to know him when I was an adult and they did.
What's fascinating to us is that all three of us went through similar phases as adults in terms of particular interests (we *all* had a breadbaking phase which has never quite stopped, though I started earlier in my life than they did.) We've all had bits of very similar crafting interest. We all read different corners of genre fiction, but with enough overlap to enjoy conversations.
Anyway, my advice to the sister here is to figure out a way to keep the connection open independent from their parents whether that's some sort of fun correspondence, a distance-friendly game night, or just plain being curious. Little sister's not going to be a companion-type friend for a while, but maybe in 15 years, she'll be able to offer great advice about something she knows well that you don't. (Maybe sooner.)
(My sister calling me up a couple of years ago for some personal advice completely blew my mind, but she was very "Look, you're an adult, you're sensible about this thing, why wouldn't I ask you?")
And on an entirely practical level, the thing about seeing different sides of parents can be really handy when you start thinking about elder care or how to handle specific issues. (My siblings and I figured out when I was a relatively young adult that our mother was telling us all different pieces of some things, and we have now learned to share information routinely about the relevant topics.)
no subject
One of the things we've talked about as adults is how different the houses we grew up in were - starting with state, but also economic security and the way our parents were in the larger community. (Our father was a professor, my siblings were born before he was tenured, I was born after he'd not only had tenure for about 15 years, but had been chair of the department multiple times).
He was able to be a lot more present in my day to day life in some ways because of it (he could set a schedule that meant he was able to be the one picking me up at school a lot - he'd then do more work while I was doing homework or in bed.)
But also, differences in parenting, because by the time I got them, our parents had an idea what they were doing, what they wanted to prioritise in various ways, and all that.
Just. What I got was really different (and, um, my parents also made some things much easier for me than it was for them.) On the complicated side, our father died when I was 15, and whoo boy is that whole lot of difference, because I never got to know him when I was an adult and they did.
What's fascinating to us is that all three of us went through similar phases as adults in terms of particular interests (we *all* had a breadbaking phase which has never quite stopped, though I started earlier in my life than they did.) We've all had bits of very similar crafting interest. We all read different corners of genre fiction, but with enough overlap to enjoy conversations.
Anyway, my advice to the sister here is to figure out a way to keep the connection open independent from their parents whether that's some sort of fun correspondence, a distance-friendly game night, or just plain being curious. Little sister's not going to be a companion-type friend for a while, but maybe in 15 years, she'll be able to offer great advice about something she knows well that you don't. (Maybe sooner.)
(My sister calling me up a couple of years ago for some personal advice completely blew my mind, but she was very "Look, you're an adult, you're sensible about this thing, why wouldn't I ask you?")
And on an entirely practical level, the thing about seeing different sides of parents can be really handy when you start thinking about elder care or how to handle specific issues. (My siblings and I figured out when I was a relatively young adult that our mother was telling us all different pieces of some things, and we have now learned to share information routinely about the relevant topics.)