Re #1: Yeah, that's weird. I am Jewish but very very not Orthodox, and if the LW is actively considering conversion (she kashered her kitchen) and her boyfriend's family is still shunning her? Something's off. And what I suspect is off leads me to a deeper concern: I suspect this family may not be Modern Orthodox, they're one of the smaller ultra-Orthodox sects, and the LW's boyfriend is keeping her away from his religious community because he worries that if she sees how the community treats women, she will run.